#i need to actually finish some buffy art

[zestoflemon]

found some btvs sketches i never posted

[nosferatini]

AO3 Ask Game

Thanks to @addledmongoose for the tag and @cheeseplants for the game!

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens. Although I have some Good Omens crossovers with other fandoms. One of my works was a multiverse one-shot with characters from GO, Doctor Who, OFMD, Buffy and Batman.

How many words have you published in 2024?

According to AO3 (which I just learned does statistics by year? lol) I published 435,127 words.

What is your greatest achievement this year?

Well...

I could either talk about fics or podfics here. But if I'm going with fic I'll talk about how far I've come with The Season of Nightingales, my main longfic, which has only two chapters to go.

But I've made some major strides with voice acting and making podfics for some of the wonderful folks in the Good Omens fandom, and I think that's more of an "achievement" than simply something I'm proud of, like progressing my longfic :) I'm especially proud of finishing both my Factory Settings Podfic and Someone is Calling Him Shorewards earlier this year.

What are your top three fics you’ve written this year?

The Season of Nightingales (Good Omens Post S2 Plot-with-Fluff Fix-it, currently at 168k with two weekly chapter updates to wrap it up)

Reversed Veil of Worlds - A Little History (Good Omens Angst, 2/5 chapters published based on @daneecastle's Reversed Veil of Worlds comic series, which if you haven't read you should totally go check out! [Starts HERE!])

Unhallowed Providence (Reverse Omens Gothic AU based on @theonevoice's GORGEOUS demon Aziraphale and angel Crowley art—I've published one chapter and have the story pretty well plotted for the rest, just need to finish Season of Nightingales first!)

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

There was no one moment... not related to writing or Podficcing. Just the slow and steady realization that I was booking myself for too much stuff and in no way have time to keep up with it all lol.

What have you learned?

....I have a really bad case of FOMO.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

I have a little side fic started about Crowley saving the runaway unicorn, and a Coney Island (excuse the period typical term "freakshow") human AU that I have a plot for and no time to write, especially not now that I've signed up for two wonderful artist collabs that are going to be my priority once I finish Nightingales.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

Yes! I've beta'd for @dbacklot99, @wingsofopal, and more short one-off projects for various GOAD Writers Guild writers than I could remember at gunpoint lol.

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

If I have to pick three, I'll name the longfics, because there's no possible way I could choose between them and all the incredible one shots and short series that I've read this year. I would recommend anything that I've podficced (which is the vast majority of my AO3 Profile right now) but I'll shout out these three longies in particular:

Someone is Calling Him Shorewards by @harlotofupdog (podfic)

2. A Little Life by @gaiaseyes451 (beware the angst tags... but damn it's good)

3. Friday I'm in Love by NooRose93 (podfic - wip)

What ideas are percolating for next year?

Fics in my queue:

I gotta finish Unhallowed Providence and A Little History first. Someday maybe I'll get to the Coney Island AU...

Podfics in my queue:

Stuck on You by @zin-lynn-c

Mon Horrible Chéri by @mrghostrat

And the Podfic for The Season of Nightingales

there might be a chance of me looking into doing Or Be Nice and maybe a couple of others that I was recced and haven't read yet, but I haven't actually asked the author(s) so don't quote me on that lol.

Who do you want to thank?

@paperclipninja for the absolute knockout musical compositions she has created for some of my podfics!

My beta readers: @addledmongoose, @dbacklot99, @wingsofopal @demonsandpieohmy and NooRose93 (aka blackjeans93)!

My beta listeners: @theonewiththeshippinggoogles and @firstvisittoearth @wingsofopal and others from the various chats who have added their comments after listening!

@daneecastle and the @theonevoice for inspiring me with their comic and/or art and for being wonderful friends to collaborate with!

@elenthyaolyenths for making me pretty logos!

@outrageousring5655 for making prolific podfics so I can absorb more fanfiction than I ever could on my own!

All of my amazing friends from the @goodomensafterdark Writers Guild and @whickberstreetwriters

All of the people who have taken the time to leave lovely, encouraging comments on my fics and podfics. I keep the best comments in my inbox even after replying, because some of the things you've said have warmed my heart, inspired me, or are just generally something to treasure.

A fond, no pressure tag to @gaiaseyes451, @wingsofopal @lemon-tart-221, @adverbian @paperclipninja and @dbacklot99 if you would like to play :)

[coraniaid]

I think there's something fascinating about the evolution of Darla as a character in the Buffyverse.

It's very common in the Buffy fandom to talk about the show almost as if it were fully planned out from the beginning or somehow emerged fully-formed one day in its entirety.  To analyze Season 1 episodes as if the writers had already decided on the Heart/Mind/Spirit symbolism of the core Scooby Gang; to act as though a Season 5 retcon means that Spike was really in love with Buffy as early as Season 3's Lovers Walk; to suggest the constant changes in how the show deals with soul lore or vampires as a metaphor must mean that Giles and the Council were 'really' lying or ignorant in the first few seasons; to wonder what the Watchers Council introduced in Season 3 were doing in the show's first two seasons; to insist you can't really understand Season 1 until you've finished Season 7.

And, look, I totally get the temptation to do that sort of thing.  It's unavoidable if you want to talk about the universe of the show as a real thing in its own right, or try to write fanfiction that takes every season seriously.  It can be a useful and interesting way of thinking about the show.  I've done it myself and will no doubt keep doing it.

But at the same time, it's very misleading if you want to think about the show as a constructed work of collaborative art: as a piece of fiction in constant conversation with itself, shaped and reshaped again and again over years by a team of different people.  Which, to be clear, is what it actually is.

The real show is almost a piece of improv or some sort of conjuring act, with the writers and actors constantly juggling with new ideas and twists without any time to worry about how exactly everything fits together. With some episodes reportedly being written in only a handful of days and lore being continually changed and ignored as fits the current demands of the plot.  Questions like "how does soul lore really work?" or "after Prophecy Girl who is the real Slayer anyway?" ultimately can't be answered, because there simply is no single truth to uncover.  It depends entirely on the current episode.

And I think the ever-changing character of Darla provides the best illustration of that reality.

In the original unaired pilot, Julie Benz plays an unnamed vampire who is nonetheless pretty easy to identify with the Darla we'll see in the show proper.  She has no links to Angel or Luke or the Master, because none of these characters even exist yet.  Just like in Welcome to the Hellmouth, she lures an unsuspecting victim into the high school after dark before vamping out and killing him, but by the end of the episode she is dead: gruesomely dispatched (or as gruesomely as the pilot's limited special effects budget allowed) after Willow douses her with holy water.

The two parter Welcome to the Hellmouth / The Harvest expands on her role slightly.  She has a name now, for one thing. She works for the Master, too, but she doesn't at all seem to be his favorite (she's very much subordinate to Luke in both these episodes), and there's no suggestion that she has any special connection to Angel.  (Unsurprisingly, as the show's writers hadn't even decided to make Angel a vampire at this point.)  And her ultimate fate at the end of this two-parter is unclear: just as in the pilot, Willow soaks her with holy water, and then she's ... gone?  Nobody mentions her again, she's not in scenes with the Master in later episodes which logically she should be. I'm pretty sure that, just like in the pilot, we're meant to assume she's dead.

But then Darla gets her first big break.  Angel is, it turns out, a vampire, and he needs some backstory to match.  Julie Benz obviously made a decent enough impression in the first couple of episodes, and nothing she did or said quite ruled her out as Angel's sire, and we never quite see her die. So suddenly she's back,  now the Master's favorite vampire, attacking Buffy's mother in her own home and sowing the seeds of mistrust between Buffy and Angel and ... oh, she's dead again.  Bummer.

Except then in Season 2 Angel's role expands again -- he's not just Buffy's intermittently seen vampire boyfriend anymore, he's the focus of the whole season and he's going to appear in all but one episode.  Of course, he's going to need more backstory (and we're all going to be treated to David Boreanaz's best Irish accent) so ... once again Darla rises from the ashes, albeit this time only in flashbacks.  And the Darla we see in Becoming's flashbacks is once again an evolution of the character we last saw in Season 1's  Angel.  More confident, more complex.  A character that it is honestly difficult to reconcile with the take on the character we saw last season, especially the one we swa in the show's first two episodes.

Anyway, Angel gets sent to hell in Season 2, but not before managing to (somehow) act his way into his own spin-off series.  And yes, that means more flashbacks, and more Darla, and more retcons about the precise nature of her relationship with the Master, but ultimately it means the writers decide to bring Darla back from the dead at the end of the spin-off's first season (for, depending on exactly you count it, arguably the fourth time, though only the first in-universe).  And this iteration of Darla -- both the human Darla we see in the beginning of Angel's second season, and the vampire she becomes again later that season -- is arguably the closest thing there is to a definitive take on the character.  This is the Darla people mean when they talk about her on the show.  Not the mid-level vampire of Welcome to the Hellmouth or the essentially single episode villain of Season 1's Angel, but the real deal.  Darla at her most complicated and rich and alive, a Darla whose history is hopelessly entangled with that of her on-again, off-again lover Angel, a character who provides the driving force for the spin-off show's greatest season.  A character who is, I think, one of the most  interesting to ever appear on that show.

Then the last few episodes of Season 2 completely drop Darla and all trace of the arc she introduced. When she reappears next season (in just a handful of episodes) it's so that her character can be written out of the show via mystical and impossible-by-the show's-previous-rules pregnancy in order for men to feel sad about it (but not for very long), and afterwards everything generally goes to shit.

But then, that tells you quite a lot about the Buffyverse and its creators as well.

[romantichopelessly]

Jordeclan and Coffy for the ask meme

Jordeclan:

Whether I ship it or not: Yes !!! I do. I unfortunately don't post it very often, but I actually think they are the strongest couple in TD3 at times.

Why I ship it or not: I think she could fix him. (That's only half a joke). I think it's *chef's kiss* that everything that Jordan is challenges Declan's beliefs. I love that he becomes stability and a way out for her. Jordeclan to me is one of those ships that's like. Yes, she could do so much better than him, but I respect women's choices and good for her.

My opinion on their canon potential: One thing I will say--Greywaren lost some of their potential at the end. They absolutely SHOULD NOT have gotten married at the Barns. In no world is that a good ending for them. To me, they elope not long after the apocalypse avoiding stuff and do their art crimes farrrrr away from the Barns.

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it: I am not Declan's number one fan, I'm pretty open on that. I think that's part of why I don't post Jordeclan much, because going into TD3 I just barely liked Declan and I am only just now doing my first reread of the trilogy with his and Jordan's arcs in mind. So generally, I'm not fully on board with a lot of Jordeclan posting because it usually boils down to Declan stan posting, and that just doesn't spark a lot of interest for me. I need more Jordeclan posting from a Jordan perspective, and maybe I'll get on that when I finish my reread.

Coffy (I am assuming Cordelia/Buffy?):

Whether I ship it or not: I could take it or leave it, I think. When watching the show, it never really appealed to me, but when I see people posting it I could get behind it.

Why I ship it or not: Why I think I didn't when watching it the first time is because I've never been too big on the rivals to lovers trope personally, especially when in canon there were more interesting options for that imo (FUFFY !!). But why I can get behind it now? I really really love both of these characters. Cordelia in her ATS era is one of my favorite characters in the BTVS catalogue overall. And Buffy is like my fav of all time. I think they could get over Angel together.

My opinion on their canon potential: There's definitely always chemistry there, but I do not think that they could have been together in high school. I think they would have to come together after graduation--maybe in an AU where ATS and BTVS join together again around Season 6 BTVS.

My opinion on fanon interpretations/fandom around it: TBH I do not see much action from this fandom on this point. I need to be seeing more. I do love lesbian or ace interpretations of Cordy. And of course bi Buffy is basically canon to me. I also haven't seen this much at all, but I think Willow would be so jealous if they got together lmaoo.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, November 19

Anya: In case we need 'em, I'm getting more of all the things you stole. Willow: I didn't - why do you do that? Anya: What? Willow: You're so rude! I mean, sure, at first, ex-demon, doesn't know the rules. Well, you been here forever. Learn the rules. Anya: Rules are stupid. Willow: Great, whatever. I just thought you might be interested in learning to act more human. Some of us enjoy it. Oh, look for, uh, spells with dimensional portals too. Anya: I *am* a human. And there are ... many humans who are stranger than me.

~~Buffy Season 5 Episode #89: "Triangle"~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Bops to Disavow Knowing (Xander Harris, Spike , G) by Programmable_Boy

Prince of Hearts (OC, Ensemble, T) by OverlordMika

this time you won't leave me sinking (Buffy/Faith, T) by faithandbuffy

They’d given her back, but not to keep. (Dawn, Buffy, unrated) by tenderjock

[Chaptered Fiction]

First War part 3: Rumors in Rhine Ch. 1-3/37 (Willow/Tara, T) by Nonkosherian

Eulogies Ch. 1-4/4 (COMPLETE) (Buffy/Oz, Ensemble, T) by afteriwake

The Tale of Shahrazad and Delhemma Ch. 1-10/10 (COMPLETE) (OC Slayer, OC Watcher, T) by LudditeRobot

hit rewind Ch. 84 (Buffy/Spike, M) by untiljanuary

Queen of Hearts Ch. 1/7 (Cordelia/Willow, unrated) by Murderpart1

The Buffy Chronicles: Life After Sunnydale Ch. 2 (Buffy/Spike, E) by sweetmelodykiss

Painting Flowers Ch. 8 (Buffy/Angel, T) by crowncitydreams

Free Fall Ch. 1-4/4 (COMPLETE) (Buffy/Willow, unrated) by Nymue

It's always blood, isn't it? Ch. 2/8 (Buffy/Spike, M) by turzelque

Opposite Attraction Ch. 2/6 (Angel/Spike, T) by MamaBewear

Sending My Love from The Other Side of the Apocalypse Ch. 3 (Buffy/Spike, E) by cawthraven

In The Shadows of Love and Hate Ch. 11 (Xander/Cordelia, M) by schumacherjennifer39

True Love Won't Desert You, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, E) by CheekyKitten

The Bad Penny, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, E) by OffYourBird

Lucidity, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Soulburnt

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:Buffy & Angel by casenpoint

Artwork: by sayanrougshaban

Artwork:Angel and Connor by xaeyrnofnbe

Artwork:Buffy & Spike by sayanrougshaban

Artwork:Buffy by amandayetagain

Artwork:Buffy & Spike by izachin

Artwork:Buffy & Spike by izachin

Icons: BtVS Icons by editshit

Icons:Cordelia Icons by the-maidofmischief

Playlist: i made a playlist for drusilla by drusill

Manip:Episodic art for BtVS 3x08 “Lover’s Walk” by revello-drive-1630

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: Episode 50 - Hotel and the Goose Man (Dopplegangland) by The Sunnydale Diaries

PODCAST: BTVS 606 - All The Way by Another Buffy Podcast

PODCAST: Get It Done S7 E15 (Buffy and the Art of Story Podcast) by Buffy and the Art of Story

[Community Announcements]

Tuesday Prompts - What's in a Name? by comment_fic

Headline Awards Is Back For 2025! by headlineawards

[Fandom Discussions]

Lmao just finished rewatching “The Girl in Question”(5x20) by thequeenofsastiel

It was cute to see how Angel reacted to human food that one time he turned human, but can you IMAGINE how Spike would have reacted? by thequeenofsastiel

Just saw someone on reddit point out that the sex Willow and Tara had in OMWF was actually rape by thequeenofsastiel

by thequeenofsastiel

THINGS I ACCIDENTALLY PREDICTED WHILE WATCHING BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH MY MOM by xaeyrnofnbe

OBSESSED with the looks william gives angelus by xaeyrnofnbe

I’d seen interviews w Spike (btvs)’s actor about the SA scene by hermitsdump

buffy the vampire slayer’s commitment to acab is kind of beautiful actually. by comradesummers

Ik u don’t ship spuffy, but if u did what would their memorable moment be? by drusill

did you guys know that erm. drusilla’s character represents a threat not only because she’s a vampire by lesbianboyfriend

I’m on 2x03 School Hard! Spike time!!! by claudiashealthyappatite

the further into buffy season 4 i get the more contempt i have for riley. by electricabsolution

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, XANDER! Is this really the time? by thornfield13713

God, but the way Innocence ends. by thornfield13713

i have only watched one (1) faith episode and i am already ready to die for her by smallblueandloud

maybe it’s just me, but- if you find out your seventeen-year-old has slept with an older man who is clearly not the most stable person in the world by thornfield13713, sayyoume

at the time I was just so bowled over by the shock of Miss Calendar’s death to really think about it by thornfield13713, dangerfieldfive

‘Intent has to be pure with love spells’ - how pure can your intentions possibly be for something like that? by thornfield13713

…getting really done with the endemic slut-shaming in this show by thornfield13713

it’s an odd experience to get into Buffy after being in the trenches of the Supernatural fandom by aphony-cree

I think about spikes refusal for Buffy’s admission so much by baby-on-the-net

End of days Faith by desicat-writer

i know that cordelia is meant to be a foil and a mirror image to buffy by youn8ss-2

I think it could have been interesting if the initiative storyline was the council rather than the US government. by finalgirl1984

Make Vampires Make Sense by Swanky4Life

What do you think about Buffy's Mom? by mmorrison92

Are You Now or Have You Ever Been/Why We Fight by Apprehensive-Ice9481

Thoughts on Buffy's final showdown with The Master? by JB92103

Why did Spike not want to tell Buffy about his soul? by authenticriver

Discussion (Spoilers) by Late-Detail97

reminder that it’s not too early to watch the greatest christmas episode ever created by PinkPashaTS

Just started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer had no idea Cordelia was so mean by WeeBPro_manga

Spike and Angel’s dynamic by authenticriver

The last slayer? by ScarletWidow901

Willow's Motives in All The Way by Own_Faithlessness769

Why did Allan Finch seek out the Slayers in "Bad Girls"? (3x14) by streetsahead78

I had already read this comic, but I was so moved to get it with this cover. by ManoArtesana

Magical Misdeeds by Moon_Logic

Spike the demon vampire vs Spike by beans_the_fruit182

Is Dracula the same as demon vamps by rawlerson

What's your favorite line spoken by someone who is not a main cast member? by InfiniteMehdiLove

Innocent victim of the day by timmorris82

Xander Harris Once Rudely Said by Past-Throat-6788

Empty places by dg209904

In the spirit of the "Innocent Victim" posts, anyone else here have one from the show that makes them extra sad? by Usernamelesses

Currently on season 5 by Inetygaxo

can i watch Angel the Series without having watched buffy? by cyv2

1/6 accidental kit bash Buffy figure! by Bakkhios

It's weird to think that this dork was a 5th generation descendant of The Master, and probably would have been a powerful vampire if he'd lived for more than two seconds. by Jovian8

Evil is Brutal... Brutally Honest at least by sirtch_analyst

My biggest gripe on the final season… by Alternative-Sale3405

What do you think of Cordelia's arc in Season Three of Angel? by jogaforacont

The Real Scooby Gang... by Remarkable-Mess453

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[citrus-cactus]

For the fanfiction writing asks game: 27, 35, 43, 49. Thank you <3

Oh, thank you so much! Ask game is here.

Under a cut because this got kind of long. There’s art in it, though!

27). What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

I used to feel pretty confident about my ability to write dialogue, but these days I'm not so sure about that! I have several older fics/fic chapters that basically only exist because conversations between two characters entered my brain more-or-less fully-formed… which is one sort of “strength,” I suppose, but dialogue being “easy” (on the occasions when it is!) doesn’t mean it’s a strength of my writing. I do think I’m pretty good at hearing certain character voices in my head (though I fret way more about characterization if I’m writing in a non-dub/non-English language continuity!). But I think my answer to this question also has to include… emotions? Or like. Describing how a character feels without outright saying it. More often than not, my outlines (such as they are) end up being a combination of key dialogue and emotional beats, and I’ll fill in the blanks of a fic around those two things. If I feel like I can nail a character’s words and feelings, that piece of writing feels like it becomes something I could become proud of. I don’t know if that answers the question!

35). What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

I read bits and pieces of my slow-burn Pokemon XY romance, "Twenty Questions" (warning: this fic is 90% PG, but two of the later chapters are rated M for sexytimes!), the other night and… darn it, it almost certainly contains some of the best stuff I’ve ever written. Even though it’s unfinished, there’s just so much I still like about it. I put several bits and pieces of myself into it, and rereading it, I think a LOT of my own fears about being loved and accepted are pretty apparent, ahaha. It was going to end with the main POV character doing something he thinks is both scary and difficult, but ultimately he’s OK going through with it because he’s doing it with the person he loves. When I planned that as the ending, I really, REALLY needed that to be true for myself and my own circumstances! So it’s a very personal and self-indulgent fanfic, both from a story-for-these-specific-characters perspective and my-own-emotional-needs perspective. Working on this fic was probably uh… really important for my mental health in 2015-2016, actually. It’s something I took a lot of joy in writing and publishing, and have a lot of fond memories of, despite the other stuff that was going on those years!

I think I got what I needed from writing that fic, so I don’t feel a huge need to finish it anymore. I do hate leaving it unfinished, though (and the ending is written!! But there’s one sticky chapter to get through before I can publish it!). So maybe I’ll continue it someday, if I can go back to that headspace.

43). Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Hmm, not so much a trope, fanfiction-wise. I really try not to think in terms of tropes when plotting out stories or deciding what to write, even though they most definitely happen. But ideas, yes!! I have an original story and characters that I would LOVE to put out in the world someday (as a comic book, video game, or something else). It’s something I started working on in high school(!) and it’s gone through a LOT of changes over the years (though honestly not enough, which is why it just exists in my head and in 5 zillion notebooks!). The easiest way to summarize it is to say it’s Greek myth revisionism mixed with magical girl anime and don’t-take-them-too-seriously fantasy-action TV dramas (like Xena or Buffy the Vampire Slayer)… and to circle back to trope talk, it is intended to be in conversation with both modern and ancient storytelling tropes galore. And I mean… this probably should be counted as fanfiction, because it most definitely uses a specific myth and Greek tragedy and the characters from that story as a starting point! But you have to draw the line somewhere, and I chose to say this is my multi-influence, original-fiction baby.

I’m so late answering this ask because I had to draw my beautiful kids that I love so much, just so I could show them to you (though I realized as I was working on this that it’s been WAY TOO LONG since I’ve drawn some of them, aaaah! I’m genuinely out of practice… looking at you, Greek helmet T^T)

Yes of course they have names, but those are a secret right now. So you get their starting roles in the story, and sometimes their full-time roles, where applicable :)

If it’s not clear how much I love drawing big, floofy anime hair after this, I don’t know what to tell you. I LOVE DRAWING BIG FLOOFY ANIME HAIR!!!!!!!1

49). What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

Already answered here, and for you, I’d say at least part of that answer still stands! “The Great Unknown” (warning: contains PG-rated Taishiro) is the thing I like to point people to the most. If you prefer to read something with no romance, I think “Stargazing,” which is a Joe and Gomamon friendship story (warning: uses American English dub names and characterization), is my strongest showing, Digific-wise. It’s also an example of a fic that was born out of dialogue that just came to me out of the blue one day, and I was compelled to write a short story around!

Phew! These answers were all probably TMI, but thank you for letting me talk about some things I’ve made that are really important to me! <3

[wolfstrong]

ngl id want to hear all your answers to the choose violence ask game about buffy

hehehe why not... i couldnt answer all of these cuz idk I'm not like in in the buffy fandom but here

the character everyone gets wrong everyone already knows what I'm gonna say... say it with me now yall... XANDER!!!!!!!! also I feel like a lot of people don't have the soul connection I have with tara. not that they don't get her I just know they don't get her like id do okay.

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom sorry I don't care about this kinda stuff

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr yeah anyway I'm not gonna put the image here cuz it will burn your eyes but the photoshopped picture of spike and angel duo sucking Rileys dick like girl. i don't even know if that's a take but it is to me. the take is that spike and angel would suck riley off. worst take ever and worst image ever

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? I don't have anyone from the buffy fandom blocked.... smile.

worst discord server and why someone invite me to a bad discord server id love to join and be tortured. is there even any buffy discord servers? please let me know

which ship fans are the most annoying? obviously spuffy. very very obviously. spuffy fans are some of the most annoying ship fans of any ship

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? answered

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about there are a couple episodes that are regarded as some of the worst buffy ever that are actually some of my favs... "I robot you jane" "go fish" "bad eggs" all good and "beer bad" IS NOT THE WORST EPISODE. in fact I actually kind of liked it so there. xander/willow is a good ship you are just not ready for that conversation. Angel isn't THAT bad okay.

worst part of canon what isn't the worst part of canon. actually I'm only on season 5 so I think I have yet to get to the WORST PART. btvs has so many fucking issues

worst part of fanon it bothers me that there is like NO FANART for the show and pretty much 50% of btvs content is about spuffy naked sex bat sex crazy naked tits and ass penis sex

number of fandom-related words you've filtered zero!

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them answered

worst blorboficiation answered

that one thing you see in fics all the time I don't read enough btvs fic

that one thing you see in fanart all the time CLOTHES CLINGING TIGHTLY TO BUFFYS BOOBS AND ASS AS IF THE FABRIC WAS FUCKING LIQUID!!!!!! STOP DOING THAT TO HER.

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

there should be more of this type of fic/art on god we need more core scooby appreciation like please please more fanart of just files buffy xander and willow hanging out and smiling and being silly. i never have seen like any fanart of xander ever

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... RAT AMY

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like... .... i already kinda said it earlier but erm.. season 3 willow/xander cheating arc when they kept making out. sorry. oh also kinda horrified I like spuffy but like that's normal everyone likes that.

part of canon you found tedious or boring tbh most the time I think the season plot shit is boring. i much prefer monster of the weak stuff. the initiative stuff was SO FUCKING boring most the time and any scene with Riley I literally would fall asleep

part of canon you think is overhyped I mean I haven't FINISHED season 5 yet but I'm getting to the end and I feel like I see lots of hype for this season arc but so far the way its wrapping up is kind of awful. erm

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores SCOOBIES FRIENDSHIP. SCOOBIES EVERYTHING. CHILLING AMD BEING BEST FRIENDS AND LOVE BETWEEN FRIENDS . AND WATCHING TV AND BRADING EACH OTHERS HAIR

ship you've unwillingly come around to I really didnt wanna like spuffy but I do. i don't want to like spander but I saw yaoi for a second idk maybe something is there. .. maybe.. xander and anya? though its more just like I don't hate anya anymore. i still kinda hate them as a couple.

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse defs spangle vs spuffy and also whether or not Xander is good.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing SHUT UP ABOUT JOSS WHEDON BEING PROBLEMATIC IM SORRY TO BE THAT BITCH I DONT CARE. SORRY . BUT I DONT. its like literally all anyone has to say

[meowmageddon]

August Reading Check-In!

Is it a little late? Yes, mind your business 😹

I want to move my bookish updates back here since I'm not about training Elon Musk's AI. This update is gonna be a mix of mini-reviews, the current reading list, recent acquisitions, and a few upcoming releases to watch out for.

It's gonna be long, so keep reading if you dare. Or jump around to the bits you like!

Mini Reviews for July's Reads

Black Ghost of Empire by Kris Manjapra - 5 stars

A look at slavery and the emancipation processes across North America and the Caribbean in particular, as well as some of the colonization of Africa itself. Examines the way emancipations prioritized compensating slave-owners for lost "property" rather than restoring justice and reciprocity to the enslaved people who lost their labor, lives, and histories. Super informative, super vital, because they didn't teach this in US history. Just be prepared for an emotionally tough read.

The Veiled Throne by Ken Liu (The Dandelion Dynasty #3) - 3 stars

This is where the series finally ran into pacing issues for me, as many multi-POV epic fantasy series do. Mostly in the latter half. We had a very high-stakes storyline getting a slim chapter between multiple thick chapters about an all new setting and characters with a much lighter tone. I know heavy stuff needs to be broken up, but this was more frustrating than cathartic.

I am keeping in mind that TVT is technically the first half of what was supposed to be the final book, but the trilogy became a tetralogy because a 2000-page book would be ludicrous. Still, I feel it could've been broken down further, and we really need to allow more BIPOC writers the freedom to have sweeping, several-book-long series the way white authors can.

Get In Trouble by Kelly Link - 4 stars

These stories were quite a ride. Many featured messy people, places, and things. If we're being honest, the rating could bump up to 5 stars on a reread. There's just so much to unpack, and I'd need a closer reading, like studying scripture.

Current August Reads

• Trans-Galactic Bike Ride ed. by Lydia Rogue - As the subtitle reads, it's "Feminist Bicycle Science Fiction Stories of Transgender and Nonbinary Adventurers," written by queer authors. Technically I've actually already finished reading it, but I'll post about it separately at a later time!

• Babel by R.F. Kuang - BookTube's darling about a department at Oxford dedicated to translation and working silver- and translation-based magic for the glory of the empire. Problem is, some of the students and faculty are people from places on the receiving end of the empire's injustice. Down to the last 100 pages of this one!

• Speaking Bones by Ken Liu (The Dandelion Dynasty #4) - Despite my frustrations with the third book's pacing, I wouldn't dream of DNFing the series. The world is so lush and full, and the characters endearing. But there's another 1000 pages ahead, so this'll be on Current Reads lists for a while. 💀

• Lone Women by Victor LaValle - A young woman leaves her family home in flames and seeks a new life homesteading in Montana, a mysterious trunk in tow. I read LaValle's The Ballad of Black Tom a few years back, and really needed to read more of his stuff.

• Moonshot: The Indigenous Comics Collection Vol. 1 ed. by Hope Nicholson - Was very excited to see this at the library, as I've wanted to read it for a long time. The stories vary in genre, and I believe there are illustrated stories, individual art pieces, and even a song or poem by Buffy Sainte-Marie in addition to regular comics.

Recent Acquisitions

• Loot by Tania James - I actually won this print copy in a Goodreads giveaway! This is why I encourage those who are able to enter for anything they're interested in; it can happen to YOU lmao. Anyways, it's a book about a boy in India who constructs an automaton tiger for the Sultan, only to have it seized in war by the British. He goes to England to try to retrieve it.

• Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Cañas - My August Book of the Month pick. I enjoyed her debut, The Hacienda, and look forward to this one. Described with "Vampires and vaqueros face off on the Texas-Mexico border." I've seen reviewers describe it more as magial realism/historical fiction with vampires, rather than horror, though.

Upcoming Releases

No guarantee I'll pick these up... but here's some cool stuff coming out in the next month or so!

• From A Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi (August 29th) - Third collection of 40 short stories celebrating the 40th anniversary of Star Wars, this time inspired by elements of Return of the Jedi! I realized I still have to pick up the second collection, from The Empire Strikes Back, oh no!

• The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White (September 5th) - YA horror featuring a trans autistic teen protagonist who can commune with the dead. He attempts to escape an arranged marriage, is sent to a Sanitorium & Finishing School, and is urged by the institution's ghosts to expose its dark secrets.

That's all for now! If you read all this... just know that I love you. 🥰

[marigoldbaker]

before i go to bed here are some fun facts about arthur cervenak:

his favorite parent is jenny. jenny has absolutely no idea that this is the case and has always secretly assumed that art would gravitate towards giles because they’re so similar, but one of the many things that art and giles have in common IS ACTUALLY the fact that they both think jenny is the most special and incredible person in the world. also like she’s the one who’s been there since he was a baby so that kinda accounts for a lot

his middle name is john. it’s for his mother. it was also selected BY his mother, who was a hair away from naming him john on an ego trip before deciding to go with arthur for ..... reasons. (if you look closely enough at the fic, the reason is woven into one of the chapters that is currently up!)

he has absolutely no idea what he wants to do with his life, and this hasn’t changed by the time he’s in high school. he’s kinda coasting. both of his parents are actually very happy about this because neither of them had the opportunity to not know what the fuck they wanted.

he comes out as gay in high school and it’s this whole Dramatique Production because he is his parents’ child and he has no fucking braincell, so he goes through this whole “mom...dad...i’m so sorry, but i will never marry a woman and give you the happy little nuclear family you so desire to see me start” and then jenny looks at giles and starts immediately going “this is your fault. YOU said we needed to WAIT to tell him about ethan. YOU said w” and giles is like “jenny please please jenny please just address this” and once it gets sorted out it ends up being fine

he goes fully nonverbal around pretty boys. like it is BAD. it’s the deadly combination of his mom’s laser focus on someone hot and his dad’s INTENSE anxiety and it is really just too much for him to handle

he calms down as a teenager from a high energy baby into this very quiet and sweet kid who is temperamentally a whole lot like his dad. this however also means that there’s sometimes a lot of biting and sideways combativeness that drives giles and jenny up the WALL

he and his cousin bella have been at each other’s throats since birth, but around middle school some switch flips and they are suddenly besties and this continues for the rest of their lives. no one understands this but jenny and nora, who have this exact dynamic somehow despite like two decades of estrangement. 

giles taught him how to play guitar! he is incredibly good at it. he doesn’t want to go into music professionally, though, because it’s his stress release, so mostly he just jams with his dad and plays cute little mini concerts for his family.

he and buffy are incredibly tight and she spoils him rotten whenever she’s given the chance. when he gets a little older, they start having some more candid talks about the difficulties of eight years without a dad.

ellie ADORES him. who is ellie, you ask? well, [radio static cuts me off before i can finish my sentence]

[flusendieb]

I posted 15.775 times in 2021

12 posts created (0%)

15763 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1313.6 posts.

I added 15.368 tags in 2021

#typeical - 8257 posts

#video - 2338 posts

#cinematical - 1369 posts

#animals - 1131 posts

#art - 994 posts

#comic - 423 posts

#videogames - 422 posts

#buffy - 197 posts

#zelda - 122 posts

#seriesly - 115 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#reblogging myself because my initial thought of simply taking away weaponry and healing items in games like re is apparently already a tough

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

@lovecanbesostrange tagged me :)

Rules: Answer the questions and tag whatever-amount of people you want to get to know better!

1. Favourite colour: blues but also greens, if I absolutely had to choose it would probably be #008080 2. Currently reading: Henry by Florian Gottschick (12 year old Henriette aka Henry accidentally gets kidnapped and refuses to escape given the chance)

3. Last song you listened to: Topukla by Athena

4. Last series you watched: just started watching My Life is Murder S02 today before work (I love how chill it is). Also yesterday I watched a couple episodes of the Alex Rider series which was surprisingly good (I found the books mediochre which might be because I was already an adult when I read them and I thought the Stormbreaker movie was quite bad but the series actually does a good job getting across how much Alex'd prefer to have a normal life while still making his choices believable and I also like that they included Tom early on because Alex needs friends)

5. Sweet, spicy or savoury: savoury and spicy at the same time

6. Craving: Salamibrot (schmier ich mir gleich, wenn ich hiermit durch bin xD)

7. Tea or coffee: Tea if it's a drink, coffee if it's like a cookieflavour or something

8. Currently working on: getting all the Achievements for the main game in Dishonored

tagging: @vaulties, @famburasch-sohn-des-partram

4 notes • Posted 2021-08-28 15:22:35 GMT

#4

just finished Horizon Zero Dawn. Took me about 160 hours because I kept getting distracted from the main quest by all the sidequests, and then I kept getting distracted from the sidequests by all the possibilities just roaming the world and hunting both machines and animals. Somehow though I still have many missing textdatapoints to find and a handful of other data - maybe I'll look them up and collect them at some point, I'd definitely be interested in reading even more stuff. (Just before I started the final battle, I went hunting for awhile to stock up on resources, and randomly found a datapoint sitting in some water - if all the others are as randomly strewn across the world I'm not surprised I've only found a few)

5 notes • Posted 2021-04-05 18:06:37 GMT

#3

8 songs, 8 people

tagged by: @lovecanbesostrange

RULES: answer the 8 song prompts, then tag 8 people

1. favorite song at the moment: Probably "Hauch mich mal an" by Das Lumpenpack I don't listen to music a lot, but I like this song enough to have bought the entire album "Eine herbe Enttäuschung", which contrary to the title is absolutely not a bitter disappointment. It's all thanks to @famburasch-sohn-des-partram sharing a link to their concert stream at the very beginning of the pandemic :D

2. a song you associate with your favorite ship: Not a shipper, not very into music, so I have no answer to this.

3. a song that could be about you: "Sunshine" by Cosmo Jarvis (it hasn't even been warm for that long this year but I'm already sick of it - thankfully today it rained when I rode my bike back home so I could cool off a little)

4. a song you think is overrated: I honestly can't think of one, because when I'm not actively interested in the music that's playing it pretty much just goes in one ear and leaves out the other without leaving a lasting impression.

5. a song that reminds you of a good memory: "A Whiter Shade of Pale" by Procol Harum - they're my uncles favourite band and when they performed near where my mum lives he invited us to go

6. the last song you listened to: "Gay Pirates" by Cosmo Jarvis - one of the songs that are pretty much always in my playlist, because so far I've never felt like I wanted to skip it, when it came on. This one @pneu-monie recommended to me ages ago and I've since bought several of Cosmo Jarvis' albums.

7. a song that makes you laugh: "The Hotdog Man" by Tripod (or pretty much any of their other songs), "Prejudice" by Tim Minchin, "Malcolm" by The Arrogant Worms (and several other songs), "Der Pinguin" by Die Blutjungs (and also many more) - there's probably more because I like comedic music, but I'm gonna stop myself there xD

8. a song you want your mutuals to listen to: "Grandaddy" by Alex Horne & The Horne Section (ok, I lied, I didn't actually stop myself, I just moved one of the other song's that make me laugh to question 8)

tagging @famburasch-sohn-des-partram, @mj-irl, @vaulties, @ministerscrimgeour, @zephyr-zagreus, @toreos, @whenyourfavouritedies, @iwishiwasatraveler

8 notes • Posted 2021-07-07 19:01:34 GMT

#2

13 notes • Posted 2021-03-06 12:06:17 GMT

#1

JUST FINISHED HZD ON ULTRA HARD

and holy shit that endfight was TOUGH! When I started playing the story I checked multiple times whether I had actually chosen ultra hard because thanks to New Game + I already had all the weapons and the highest Level, so it was pretty easy most of the time. I did die here and there along the way, but that was usually due to not paying that much attention to the healthbar (because the machines weren't that much harder to kill, I kinda forgot that they were much stronger so getting hit by them was much worse for Aloy) and one time because I'd forgotten that I wasn't doing the cauldrons and therefore obviously couldn't override all the machines xD.

I'd stocked up on ammo and some healing items but was still woefully underprepared for the final fight on my first try. Maybe it's simply because both the fight against Helis and the one on the Spire happen in such cramped spaces and stealth is absolutely no option. Died so many times in both parts and even got a Game Over for running out of time on the Spire once. I didn't have a problem with the middle bit where you repeatedly shoot Petra's experimental weapon at waves of approaching machines though.

Anyway so after I got checkpointed on the Spire without any health items left and getting more and more frustrated I aborted the mission and spent a bunch more hours hunting boars and other game. Also bought some Adept weapons (only to find out that the Adept Sharpshot Bow isn't as good as the Banuk Powershot, so I didn't even need it - didn't want to go to the Cut to get the Adept Powershot though) which helped a bit. The Adept Blast Sling did considerably more damage than the normal one, the Adept Tripcaster is great in theory but I never got the time to use it in the heat of battle.

On my second try the bit with Helis felt even tougher than the first time around, but after many tries I made it through again. The bit after that felt harder than on my first try as well, but I did make it without dying. And then the Spire. Died again and again and again because of all the chaos, felt like I came pretty close a couple of times but died again. Then FINALLY managed to get the Deathbringer's health down enough to explode one of its guns and got excited in a sort of pessimistic way xD - at that point I had a small handful of the smaller healing potions left and a tiny amount of herbs - I did my best to avoid the attacks, managed to actually chug some small potions when necessary and then blew up the Deathbringer's other gun. There were 46 seconds left on the clock, my heart was racing and my hands were shaking slightly. I only had like two herbs worth of healing power left, but I managed to chuck a few more bombs at the Deathbringer and it collapsed. Didn't even believe it at first because I must have tried to get to that point about 30 or 40 times by then.

Anyway, great game, would recommend, but if - like me - you're more in it for the story, I'd say play on normal or even easy difficulty, because ultra hard mode may be bad for your blood pressure XD

31 notes • Posted 2021-05-02 17:41:27 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Tag games

Okay, so I was tagged in two tag games by @reignoerme, so I will do them in one post for sake of ease and put them below a read-more. Thank you for tagging me in these! They look fun, and I don’t think I’ve done either of them before, so here we go. :D

List 5 albums I can’t live without. 💓

1. Damn the Torpedoes by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers This should surprise no one. This album, from start to finish, is literal magic. And I don’t mean the way it makes me feel (although listening to it on vinyl is such a JOYOUS experience that there are times I just LAUGH to express my awe over how talented these five musicians are and what they collectively arranged in the form of this album), but whatever they all did - HOWEVER they did it - to create this album’s existence is nothing short of magic. And god dammit, everyone needs some magic in their lives, even if it’s auditorily experienced.

2. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper Even though I wouldn’t defend that every single track on this album is “enduring” art (whatever that means!), this IS my favorite Cyndi Lauper album and I happen to love every single song on it, anyway. LOL And since the prompt is “albums that I can’t live without,” I have to include it because I literally would not be able to live without the song “Calm Inside the Storm” - it’s the first song on my anti-depression playlist, and I play it often when I’m feeling awful to some degree, and it cheers me up at least a little bit. This album is wonderfully varied, nonetheless.

3. Break Out by The Pointer Sisters Is there a better pop album (including dance, R&B, rock, and soul) than this, especially from the ‘80s?! At least to me: BASICALLY NO! This is one of my favorite feel-good albums that makes me happy and inspires me to dance (and definitely to sing along). Isn’t that what music is supposed to do, essentially? This album serves its purpose...but, in my opinion, IN a lasting way. (Yeah, unlike True Colors, LOL, sorry. I do love Cyndi and the impact her music had, but The Pointer Sisters’ impact has been much longer lasting, I feel. I adore them.)

4. Blueprint by Alice Bag The main point, actually, is that I simply could not live without Alice Bag’s music. I wasn’t sure if I’d mention this one, or Sister Dynamite (what got me through 2020), or even her debut solo album, but ultimately I’d choose Blueprint because “Se Cree Joven” is also on my anti-depression playlist. There’s probably some symbolism present for me to specifically choose Blueprint, as well...but I’m not sure what it is at the moment. Anyway, I love Alice Bag’s music and I also love her for nurturing my love of punk rock. (Not personally, obviously! Just incidentally. She makes me feel like it’s acceptable for me to like the genre even though it doesn’t match my personality or ‘image.’)

5. The Woods by Sleater-Kinney Because sometimes you don’t need to feel like ‘Oh my gosh, I’m so grateful to be alive...’ Sometimes you’re fucking angry, or angsty, and you need music that matches your mood - that you can scream AND dance along to. There’s a few other artists/bands I have in mind who also fit that ideal, but for now, Sleater-Kinney win. And to think I only finally gave their music a chance three years ago, and I still listen to them weekly AND I’ve seen them live. No, I simply could not live without this album or S-K in general.

And then to answer these prompts!

favorite song at the moment: ”Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty (sorry, but my favorite song never changes - which is why it’s my favorite - and being asked what my favorite song is “at the moment” is too overwhelming otherwise, LOL)

song you associate with your favorite ship: “Never Say Never” by Romeo Void (I have, like, several favorite ships across various fandoms? So I just chose my most recent favorite and also the one I am currently writing for, heheheh)

song that could be about you: “Rock a Little (Go Ahead Lily)” by Stevie Nicks

song that reminds you of a good memory: “The Cloud” by Thunderpussy

song you find overrated: “Wildflowers” by Tom Petty lmao this is why I hate when people associate me with this song, however well-intentioned they may be. Just because my name is a flower and TPATH are my favorite band doesn’t mean I want to be associated with a basic song like this one! PLEASE NO. :(

song you want your mutuals to listen to: “Daughter” covered by Nancy Wilson :’)

song that makes you laugh: “Cripple Creek” by Buffy Sainte-Marie (only because I try to sing along with her every time and get tripped up EVERY TIME by actually singing the title, “cripple creek” - my mouth always acts like ‘TOO MANY ALLITERATION TOO FAST, CANNOT COMPUTE’ and it makes me laugh!)

last song you listened to: “You Don’t Know How It Feels” by Tom Petty I actually have not listened to this song in well over a year, haha

I will tag for either of these prompts - or both, if you’d like! (although please don’t feel obligated to!): @aredhel-of-doylkien, @astarkey, @countrymusicandcher, @astoppedclock, @ina-gartens-weave, @buddyhollyscurls, @betweentimeand42, @happytimetravelmilkshake, @plenilunada

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

1, 9, 15, 17, 21, 25, 26, 29, 33, 41, 46, 48, 54, 59, 68, 73, 81, 96, 98

😊

Oh my word! That's a lot!

Ok, here goes.

Behind cut for length

1. Name - I prefer Shanie but my parents call me “Mis”. Well, my mom calls me “Mis” my father calls me “Pooch” which I despise. Just stick with Shanie.

9. What did you study - I changed majors midway through college. I started out as an art major focusing on computer animation. That didn’t work out at ALL. Turns out I sucked ass at computer animation. Too much math involved. So I switched to a major in teaching with minors in history and popular culture. Unfortunately I failed at that too and, while I did graduate, it was with a degree in “Planned Program” which is a polite way of saying “General Ed”. I did earn my two minors though, so I guess that’s something!

15. Relationship Status -  Single. Very Very Single. I haven’t had a single date in about 10 years. By the looks of it, I’m going to stay single.

17. Do you have a crush - Do celebrities count? If not then no. I don't even know anyone IRL to have crushes on. I legit have nobody in my IRL life outside of my parents and my case manager. Kind of hard to have a crush when you don't have any friends or even acquaintances.

21: How was your day -  Well, today I got nothing accomplished. I did have a meeting with my case manager, so that was nice. It’s nice to have someone to talk to and infodump on (which she lets me). Outside of that I woke up, had breakfast, lunch, and dinner, had a nap, and went to Dairy Queen for ice cream on the way home. Unfortunately, DQ is on the far side of town and by the time I got home, it was melted. So it went in the fridge to eat later once it refreezes. Outside of that it was a pretty boring day.

25. Your fears - Whoo-ee. Ok. So coming in with the borderline I’d say my biggest fear is abandonment. That just comes with the territory. After that I have a huge fear of storms and waking up in a fire, both brought about by recurring nightmares. I also have a fear of flying (too much Air Crash Investigations) and I hate elevators. I’m not claustrophobic mind you, I just have a fear that they will fall on me. Anything over 3 stories and I’m having an anxiety attack. There are other, lesser fears but those are some of the big ones.

26. Your dreams - Well, in a literal sense, my dreams are wild, crazy adventures that I get most of my fanfics from. From a metaphorical standpoint I really don’t have any. I’ve given up on hoping for anything good in my life. I’m too busy trying to get from day to day to indulge in long term planning. I know it seems terrible, but it’s the truth.

29. Hobbies - Obviously action figures, that much is clear. I collect and customize them to display in my apartment. I also like making digital art (sometimes) and am starting to get into illustrations/artwork. However, I don’t have a tablet/pen for the computer so everything is done with the mouse and GIMP (which makes it difficult). I’m an avid collector of digital media. Some of my big ones are Doctor Who DVDs, Wrestling Entrance Themes, and Official Xena Photos (not the physical ones, jpeg scans). I used to be big into Wizard101 and, while I don’t really play anymore, I still like following the game on YT and on here.

33. Languages you speak – Only English, except it’s a very specific English. I usually speak what’s called the “Yinzer” dialect which is a dialect that is unique to the Pittsburgh region. That’s why you see me use the word “Yinz” a bunch. That’s our word for “You guys” or “Y’all”. However, while most of my speech is Yinzer, I have watched enough British TV in my lifetime to have picked up some Brit speech. It confuses the hell out of people when I use it because you’ll have me say things like “My apartment needs cleaned” and then follow it up thirty seconds later with, “I’m rubbish at cleaning.” My mother has picked up on this and sometimes calls me her “British Daughter” because of it.

41. Your Device Background – My phone’s lock screen is a picture of Shane in his Roman Centurion outfit from the one Royal Rumble photo shoot. My phone background is a checkered wallpaper with “SZ” on it for Sami Zayn. (That one might be getting changed if he stops being Sami.) And my computer background is just a night sky over the mountains. I rarely ever see my computer wallpaper so I don’t mind that it is a generic background.

46. The most dangerous thing you’ve done – You know how Lucy breathes fire on Xena? I taught myself how to do that. That wasn’t bright to begin with but it was made so much worse that I was underage and couldn’t buy Bacardi and was using lamp oil instead. I was young and dumb.

48. Some things you’ve tried in your life – Funny thing, I’m a sucker for strange foods. There was a list going around that said “How many of these weird foods have you eaten” and I think I had eaten all but six of them and that was only because I didn’t have access to them. I’m proud to say that, since then, I’ve knocked Quail Egg off the list! Turns out the local Japanese restaurant served it. So that knocked it down to five. Still need to get ahold of some gator meat and haggis. I’d love to try Foie Gras but it’s just so damn unethical that I don’t know if I could bring myself to eat it. Pheasant is another one that I’d love to try but I can’t convince my parents to buy me one (and I’m far too poor to afford it myself). But, yeah. I love strange foods. I’ll pretty much try any food once if I know it’s safe to eat.

54. Any tattoos or piercings – Unless you count partially pierced ears then no. And my ears are only partially pierced because after I had them done they got infected so I tried to let them heal shut. They ended up not closing fully and now, if I’m not adverse to a bit of pain, I can still wear earrings occasionally.

59. Song you wouldn’t normally admit you like – Judas is my guilty pleasure song. I know Jericho is a douchebag and I have tried to hate the song but I can’t. I end up singing along every time.

68. Favorite Movie/Series - Hmm... well, my all time favorite movie is definitely “The Towering Inferno”, hands down. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen that. I’m a sucker for disaster movies and, in my opinion, that one is the cream of the crop. I actually like it better than “The Poseidon Adventure” simply because I think the movie is inferior to the book. That said, I’ve also read both of the books that “The Towering Inferno” is based on and I like the combined movie better than them. Favorite series, however, I don’t think I have one definitive favorite series. I’ve had favoriteS like Xena, Buffy, Sherlock, Doctor Who, etc, but I’ve never had one all time favorite.

73: Favorite Greek God – Oh geez. Hmmm... You know, I’m going to have to go with Hermes here, primarily because I have this theory that he is the god of the internet. I know there was no internet in ancient Greece but, frankly, Hermes is the god of commerce, communication, travelers, and thieves. While it’s true that Hephaestus is the god of technology and would probably be the god of computers, I fully believe that Hermes would be the patron of the interwebs.

81 Favorite Books – In all honesty, going to college for 8 years burned me out for reading and now I can barely bring myself to read a comic book. For this reason, most of my favorite books come from childhood. My all time favorite book as a kid was “Flight #116 Is Down” by Caroline B Cooney. It was a disaster story about plane crash in a young woman’s back yard. Somehow, everyone didn’t die – a fact which was called out in the final pages when a fireman says that the crash was extremely odd because “usually they’re all dead.” That book might be another reason I’m terrified of flying. Other favorite books of mine was the “Fear Street Saga Trilogy” (Not the Fear Street Series, the trilogy that served as the origin story). I also like the Hitchhikers Guide saga but when I found out that Douglas Adams died before he could finish the saga, I stopped reading after book 4 so that the story had a happy ending. Novelizations in general are a big thing for me too, I’ve read some really good ones over the years and it’s fascinating to see how they differ from the movies they’re based on.

96. Hero or Villain – Well, if my dreams are anything to go by, I’m a villain at heart. I know, weird right? You all think I’m such a nice person but really, I have a huge dark side to me IRL and, if I was in a world where superheroes were real and I had superpowers I would almost certainly use them for evil. Or, at the very least I would use them to force social change ala Dr. Horrible.

98. Shapeshifting or Controlling Time – SHAPESHIFTING! Oh my goodness shapeshifting! I would love that so much! First of all, I wouldn’t be this huge anymore. I could be as heavy or a skinny as I want. Also, I wouldn’t have to worry about looking old or losing my hair! Plus, can you imagine the cosplay potential!? Forget dressing as the 13th Doctor, I AM THE 13th DOCTOR! That would just be the best!

PHEW! That was a lot! Thanks so much for the ask! This was fun. I love ask games.

[siuilaruinofthegale]

Fic Writer Review

i was tagged by ye olde devil @snickiebear

1. How many do you have on Ao3?

uhhhhh. *checks* 6. We don’t talk about the ones that are more than five years old, though.

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2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

...embarrassing, tbh. 438,632 words.

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3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

how many have I written for, or how many have I published for?

if the latter: Naruto, Mass Effect, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and Harry Potter

if the former: Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Game of Thrones, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Naruto, ATLA, World of Warcraft, The Hunger Games, Star Wars (sequel trilogy), Avengers, and....... I think that’s it.

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4. What are your top 5 five by kudos?

lmao i barely have 5 so i’m just gonna list the four that don’t make me want to hide from all existence

- melodies of the warborn, 379 kudos

- red strings & lilac skies, 236 kudos

- Who Holds The Devil, 97 kudos

- ethics & odd wings, 72 kudos

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cutting here because i realized how long this gonna be

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?  

I try to respond to each and every one..... except for the hate mail. that gets promptly binned. my lag time on replying to some comments is legendary but so far the only one(s) i haven’t responded to are the ones where someone comments saying “DO THIS YOU NEED TO DO THIS”. there’s a difference between “I would love it if you did this” and “you HAVE to do this” and what i’m talking about are the latter.

i don’t respond well to orders.

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6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

*muffled snorts of laughter* yeah, uh, about that, i....... have only actually finished one of the multi-chapter fics i’ve posted on ao3. so technically rs&ls wins by default because it’s the only one with an ending.

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7. Do you write crossovers?

i’ve been known to dabble here and there but most of it is self-indulgent nonsense drabbles that’ll never see the light of day

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8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i got one (1) rude review from A Known Troll on rs&ls. presumably they go through the kakasaku tag periodically and talk shit. i laughed at it until my stomach hurt and then i deleted it. don’t feed the trolls.

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9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yes. and..... what do you mean what kind??

like do you mean what kind of participants does it involve? or what kind of detail i go into?? one night stands vs relationship smut?? kink smut or vanilla smut?

i’ve only ever written f/m smut, being that that is where i have experience to draw on, but i will be trying my hand at some gayer smut soon, i think.

i try not to go too detailed but i am VIGILANT about where hands and legs go. there will be no magically appearing and disappearing limbs in MY smut.

also i will write anything at least once. most of what i’ve written is probably fairly vanilla, and most of it is... if not within the confines of a romantic relationship, within the confines of a friendship

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10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nop. let me know if you see someone posting me stuff elsewhere, the only place i post these days is Ao3 because FFN is circling the drain and also i can’t remember my FFN password

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11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

NOP

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

perchance.

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13. What is your all time favorite ship?

*dodgy eyes* in what fandom?? i have too many fandoms for this to be an easy question to answer!

...i’ll just answer for the fandoms i’ve posted for.

Naruto: KakaSaku (don’t @ me)

ATLA: Zutara (don’t @ me)

Mass Effect: S H A K A R I A N  TRASH

HP: Dramione (don’t @ me)

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14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

joke’s on you, m8, i plan on finishing everything...... some day.

there are a few things i started literally ages ago -- like, 10+ years ago -- that i’ll likely never pick back up, and some of them were cool concepts, but.... that’s life.

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15. What are your writing strengths?

uhhhHHHH. I don’t actually know what I’m strong at, so I’m just gonna list the things people tell me I’m good at.

- dialogue! apparently it’s Very Relatable and realistic

- accurately depicting neurodivergent people (gee i wonder how i managed that)

- making things feel very vivid and palpable, especially in emotionally charged scenes

- writing kids who act their age instead of like mini adults

- poetic turns of phrase out of the blue

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16. What are your writing weaknesses?

description. how much is too much? should i go lavish? people read Tolkien describing trees for three pages. can i get away with describing a dress for half a page??

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17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

UHHHHH that’s a weird question. most of the dialogue i’ve written in ‘a different language’ for a fic is from a conlang (elvhen) so i don’t fuss too much over that. other than that, I do try to avoid it, or to keep the phrases something short that google translate isn’t likely to fuck up. if i was going to do anything more than like “where’s the bathroom” i’d find a native speaker to help me.

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18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

.....just like Snickie, I, too, first wrote for X-Men. specifically, Evolution. the fic(s) are still out there... on the internet... with their self-indulgent self-insert Mary Sues......

i was twelve, leave me be

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?  

anyone who goes here (here being my blog) knows the answer to this.

RED STRINGS AND LILAC SKIES

i don’t fuckin care if people think smut is gross. i think this story is art. i fucking love it and i am SO proud of it. i dead-ass bugged the boy about it until he read it and he’s never seen an episode of Naruto in his life and he thought it was good. i know it’s considered blase to like your own work but i think rs&ls is HELLA good.

I will not apologize for it, either.

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tagging... @stsathyre @thornspun @nekophiliaff @favouritequeeronthecitadel

feel free to tag yo’self if this looks interestin to you, just tag me in it so i can creep on you... in a loving way.

[goatsandgangsters]

I want to hear your mental thesis on why GOT ruined television because I agree.

OH THIS IS EMBARRASSING, I GOT YOUR ASK, I IMMEDIATELY WROTE A RESPONSE LAST FRIDAY, AND THEN I.............. left it in a word doc and forgot I never posted it. SORRY

So for onlookers, this is in reference to my tags on this post, on how capitalism has resulted in our current TV landscape where TV shows are constantly getting cancelled (specifically in a Netflix context). But I have a little pet thesis about how Game of Thrones contributed to this trend and really shaped what the current TV landscape looks like

With the caveat that I have nothing concrete to back this up—I haven’t looked extensively at numbers or data, I haven’t read any specific analysis on this, I don’t work in the media or any media-adjacent field—and I am basing my claims totally on observations and vibes

Game of Thrones was unprecedentedly successful in a way that set the bar for TV networks who suddenly realized TV shows could be immensely profitable. Game of Thrones certainly didn’t invent the concept of prestige TV, but it aired in a period of time where there was a lot of good quality television. In the late 2000s and early 2010s, we were seeing a cultural conversation about the “golden age of TV” and how TV could actually be good, after a long period where the film was viewed as “art” and television was viewed as “entertainment.” Suddenly, that was changing. There was more recognition of the artistic and storytelling merits of television. Shows like Breaking Bad and Mad Men were acclaimed. The conversation was shifting. Game of Thrones was born into this golden age and it was at first another show that shifted the perception of television towards a cultural cornerstone that would be taken seriously. 

But then Game of Thrones got BIG. I mean, BIG. It was everywhere. It was so popular. Everyone was talking about it! Everyone needed HBO so they could watch it! Don’t spoil me, I missed last night’s episode! Game of Thrones in your meeting on Monday morning. “Hey, have you heard of Game of Thrones?” “I just started watching Game of Thrones, I’m obsessed!” “I binged all three seasons last night, I can’t wait for the next season!” Okay, I did look up some data. Game of Thrones earned BILLIONS OF DOLLARS. Billions! Not millions, BILLIONS! PLURAL! Your friends were all watching Game of Throne! Your professor was watching Game of Thrones! Your dad watches Game of Thrones! Your boss watches Game of Thrones! Everyone watches Game of Thrones! Everyone talks about Game of Thrones! Game of Thrones makes MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!

And without getting into any discussion of the quality of Game of Thrones, because quality is secondary here to hype and money-making potential, suddenly TV shows aren’t just capable of being good like movies. They’re capable of MAKING SERIOUS MONEY. Everyone wants a Game of Thrones! Everyone wants a cash cow like that! But an enormous cash cow that brings in 13 million viewers for one episode alone and makes billions of dollars—those don’t come along every day (especially as we have more and more channels and streaming services and options pumping out content and flooding the TV market to the point where you don’t even know what new shows are out there because there’s just so many). But networks still want that cash cow. So they premiere a show. It does well, it makes some profit, a good number of people watch it. They cancel it. They premiere a show. It does well, it makes some profit, a good number of people watch it. No, cancel it! We want Game of Thrones! We want millions of viewers! We want all the money! Instead of putting money into additional seasons of a reliable show that has steady ratings, steady viewership, and makes more money than it cost to produce (i.e. profit), it seems like networks and streaming services are throwing as many shows as possible at the wall to see what sticks—and cancelling anything that doesn’t immediately have promise as The Next Big Thing, The Next Game of Thrones.

Of course, there are exceptions, as there are with everything. Plenty of shows before this time period were cut down in their prime after only a season or two, like Pushing Daisies. But on the other hand… Remember how much people TALKED about Firefly? I mean, they couldn’t believe it! They cancelled Firefly after only ONE season! Justice for Firefly! Can you believe that, only ONE season? It seemed like such a shocker. Nowadays if you recommend a really good show to me and say it was cancelled after only two seasons, I go “ah, another one huh? That’s a shame.” 

And of course there are plenty of other factors as well for the constant death of shows, not all of which are about Game of Thrones. First of all, there’s more of them, overall, everywhere, on every network. So naturally, there will be more cancellations. Again, I don’t have the numbers to tell you if it’s proportionate. We also know that Netflix—which doesn’t rely on advertising but on subscriptions—leans on the premiere-and-cancel model, since they claim that new shows bring in new viewership to watch releases, whereas apparently later seasons of shows (apart from the BIG hype-trains like Stranger Things) don’t bring in the kind of cash and numbers they’re after. Plus, the longer a show airs, the more likely you’re going to have to give raises to the writers, actors, and everyone else working behind the scenes. You don’t have to increase their pay if you cancel their show.

It’s part of the overall trend of capitalism—ever-expanding and ever-increasing profits, constantly looking for things to cut and curtail to achieve them. It’s incredible to think back on shows of similar genre (drama and SF/F; I’m not getting into things like comedies which feel like they operate differently) and similar levels of cultural popularity and compare those shows to the television landscape today. Lost had six seasons with anywhere from 14–25 episodes per season. Buffy had seven seasons, plus five seasons of a spin-off, with 22 episodes per season from season 2 onwards. That seems unimaginable today. Of course, longer seasons (and MORE seasons) are not always better. The phrase “jumping the shark” exists for a reason and originated with the show Happy Days—and many other shows have dragged on past their endpoint, past when the story was finished, and continued beating a dead horse.

So shorter seasons can be a good thing! A tight few seasons of a show can be a wonderful opportunity to tell a complete story with a tight narrative and end in a satisfying way! I much prefer this to shows that drag on to the point where they become a chore to watch. That sweet spot is hard to hit—but it seems like the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction where shows don’t jump the shark because they don’t live long enough to have the opportunity.

Except Game of Thrones. Which did jump a shark. And then several more.

[captainkippen]

idk if you're still taking prompts but, TJ as a tattoo artist and Cyrus getting his first tattoo. i love your writing so much, my friend and i just spent an hour talking about how much we love 1986 and best laid plans kskskskss

This ask is literally like over a year old, I’m so sorry. Thank you for your kind words about my fic though!

The Sun Sets Of Itself

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Cyrus said, peering into the studio.

Behind him, Buffy and Andi shared an unimpressed look. They’d been through this entire song and dance at least three times since they got on the bus to get to the shop, and that had been after the several months of Cyrus going back and forth on whether it was a good idea or not.

“Dude, if you don’t want to do it you don’t have to,” Buffy sighed.

Cyrus worried at his lip for a moment, eyes flicking up to the intricately painted lettering.

‘DARKSIDE TATTOOS.’

The studio had a five-star rating on Google. Its reviews all said the shop was clean, the staff polite and the artwork itself was of excellent quality. Cyrus had spent weeks pouring over their Instagram, checking out the individual artists and stressing out about the exact wording of his booking email. It was perfect.

“But I do want to,” he said.

The girls groaned. Andi looked heavenward with an expression on her face that said Cyrus might die by her hand if he didn’t walk through that door in the next ten minutes.

“Look,” she said. “Like Buffy said, you don’t have to, but you know if you don’t you’ll end up regretting it. This was your idea dude.”

It was true. He had wanted it badly enough that he’d gone to his Rabbi to talk through it. The idea had been sitting in his head since he was thirteen; a rose for his Bubbe, just over his heart, with her favourite phrase written underneath in Hebrew.

“Okay,” he said, bracing himself with a deep breath. “Okay.”

A small bell tinkled overhead when he pushed the door open and within an instant, a blonde head popped up from behind the desk at the front. The girl raised an eyebrow at the three of them and zeroed in on Cyrus.

“Cyrus Goodman?” She asked.

He nodded mutely.

“Awesome! Okay, I just need you to sign these forms for me before you can get started. Do you have your I.D on you?”

He pulled his driver’s license out from his pocket and handed it over, taking the clipboard of papers from her as she checked it over. After seeming to decide that he was not, in fact, lying about his age, she turned and bellowed towards the back of the studio.

“TJ! YOUR TEN THIRTY’S HERE!” She then turned back to him, smiling sweetly. “You can take a seat over there. He’ll just be a minute.”

Cyrus spent the next ten minutes sitting with Buffy and Andi on a small rustic bench, bouncing his leg restlessly and taking in the artwork that filled the walls. It was obvious that each wall was dedicated to a different artist, the styles all unique and eye-catching in their own way. There was a small collection of framed watercolour pieces above Andi’s head that had captured her interest and, across from them, several traditional pin-up pieces were displayed. The longer they sat the more tattoos Cyrus wanted, but the more terrified he got at the same time.

“What if this is a mistake?” He whispered to Buffy. His attempts at subtlety were lost, though. From where she was filing her nails at her desk, the blonde girl looked up and smirked. She was quite scary, actually.

“You’re overthinking it again,” Buffy hissed back.

He sighed. She was right. What he needed was a distraction. Maybe he should’ve brought his knitting with him. He still had a sleeve to go on the sweater he was making for Bex, after all.

Just as he was pondering how well knitting might have distracted him from the thought of permanently etching a piece of art onto his chest, a rather different distraction showed up.

“Cyrus Goodman?” Came a voice.

When he looked up, his jaw dropped. Standing there waiting was the prettiest guy Cyrus had ever seen. He looked like he’d walked straight off the cover of an alt-rock magazine. Tattoos covered his arms and neck and his hair was carefully shaved into a sharp undercut. He even had the gauges in his ears that Jonah was always saying he wished his mom would let him get. Beneath the fluorescent lighting, his green eyes seemed to glitter. Cyrus was aghast. 

“Catching flies there, Cy,” Andi murmured, and he snapped his mouth shut.

“I’m TJ,” Tall, Punk and Gorgeous said, offering Cyrus a hand. “You ready to go?”

*

When Cyrus had finally gotten himself together enough to greet TJ properly, he’d followed him to his section in the back.

“Are your friends coming?” TJ asked.

Buffy had interjected quickly enough with her, “It’s cool, we’ll wait here.” And Cyrus wasn’t sure if he was grateful or not. On the one hand, he didn’t need to embarrass himself in front of all three of them, but on the other… he kind of wanted someone there to tell him to stop being a weenie when the needle started up.

TJ smiled at him all the way through agreeing on the design he’d drawn up, Cyrus taking off his shirt and getting the near purple outline copied onto his chest. Cyrus thought he might vibrate out of his own skin.

“I’m glad you messaged me for this,” TJ said as he prepared the ink.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I really like doing flowers, especially when customers let me do the whole design. They always turn out exactly how I pictured them.”

Cyrus laughed nervously. “That’s good. I really like what you came up with - the gold detail on the petals was a nice touch.”

TJ grinned as he pulled out the gun.

“You ready?”

No.

“Sure,” Cyrus squeaked.

“Tell me if you want a break.”

The pain wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. After a moment he even found himself relaxing. For some reason, he’d assumed that it would be a silent encounter, but TJ chattered on as he worked. He asked about Cyrus’ degree, getting excited when he mentioned film and going on a tangent about Fight Club. For a brief moment, Cyrus was worried he was about to reveal himself to be one of those men who called other people ‘snowflakes’ unironically, then found himself surprised and delighted when TJ started talking about the inherent homoeroticism of Tyler Durden’s character. After a while, Cyrus found himself chatting back just as happily. He hadn’t expected the two of them to have so much to talk about.

“So, what does it mean?” Asked TJ, after finishing up a long-winded rant about the coffee he’d spilt all over Amber - his sister and the girl at the front desk apparently - earlier that week on one particularly bad morning.

“Huh?”

“'The sun sets on its own.’ Is that right? I ran the words through a translator, but the internet screws it up sometimes.”

Cyrus smiled, trying to glance down at the tattoo without moving too much. TJ had just started on the words.

“Almost,” he said. “It’s ‘the sun sets of itself’. It’s an old proverb from the Talmud. My Bubbe used to say it to it me a lot when I was worried about something. I think she meant it kind of like 'life goes on’, but I don’t know if that’s actually what it means though.”

TJ nodded, smiling back. “That’s pretty cool. Is that why you’re getting this, then? For your Bubbe?”

“Yeah, she died a few years ago but I figured it would be a nice way to honour her. She was really into art.”

“Sounds like a cool lady.”

“She was.”

When they finished up, Cyrus was surprised to find disappointment settling in. Not with the artwork, which looked just as wonderful as he had hoped, but with the fact he had to leave. TJ’s smile and warm manner seemed to be strangely addictive. He wanted to know everything about him.

“Think you’ll be coming back anytime soon?” TJ asked, leaning against the desk as Cyrus handed a wad of bills over to Amber.

“Definitely.”

“Thank God,” TJ said, looking genuinely relieved. “I was worried this would be my only chance to ask you out.”

Cyrus left the studio bright red, grinning and with TJ’s cell number programmed into his phone. Buffy and Andi could tease all they wanted, but getting a tattoo had definitely been a good idea.

[snowdropsandtigers]

Post-Season One Rewatch Miscellany

Okay I think details are already fading even though I finished in three days, so let’s try to get some thoughts down.

- Vic’s initial coping mechanism is art. After that scares her father, and with her meeting with Manx looming ahead, that’s when she chooses to cope via drinking to forget. Later on, it’s similar; she’s helpless to do anything when she thinks her only way to fight is gone, so she turns to drinking and stops trying to make her family relationships okay. She doesn’t cope well with being helpless, and the drastically worse situation she’s in when Manx becomes aware of her existence pushes her into the things she was trying to avoid. It’s also something she can do with Craig, who she always valued, but earlier thought of as too busy with weed for her. He’s her only real, unconditional support at the time, as she’s become more isolated due to her family crumbling and her boyfriend inadvertently pushing her away.

- On that note; normally I get at least a little unhappy when you have a story in which the main girl doesn’t want someone who’s pining for her and then realizes he’s great, and on my initial watch it did surprise me a little. This time around I still feel a little pang over Drew, mostly over how it foreshadows what she’ll lose later, but I really do like how there’s no judgment in any of it. There’s nothing to say she needed to choose differently at the start, or that she should be judged based on her ability to select a man. She just wanted to be with someone who was there for her at the right time, who she valued, and who wouldn’t abandon her the way everyone else had one way or another. Also, he was a genuinely nice guy who never gave her a hard time over his feelings. I felt for him all right during my first watch, but now I really like him in much the same way as I really like Lou.

- It’s just so awful to watch Vic’s hopes and dreams crumble throughout the season. She tried so hard for everyone that in the end she couldn’t see herself following up on that for her own sake. Of course she didn’t feel like she could go to art school, given the responsibility she felt she had already failed in to protect people, and the baby that was all she had left of her best friend. She didn’t feel like the same person who wanted to go, and she’d feel like the person she was trying to escape becoming—a disappointment to her loved ones (Craig in not saving him), and pregnant before she could find a life of her own. All of that would build up over the years until by next season, unable to find and save kids from Christmasland for years, she feels she’s just as ruined and hopeless as Charlie says she is.

- Relatedly, as on my first watch, I continue to appreciate the irony in how much Charlie ruins and damages what he claims to love and want to protect. He destroyed families and stole children’s futures, and we watch him traumatize Vic long before he decides he’s going to hurt her. We watch him watch her suffering over Maggie and it doesn’t get through to him whatsoever, anymore than Jolene could get through when she actually tried. We watch an episode where Bing, who he hires to hurt people, abducts and sexually assaults her while Charlie discusses her purity with a guy who, even with his own misogyny, seems more clearheaded in his lack of a madonna/whore complex. (Sure, he didn’t ask for that to happen, but that’s the kind of thing he did encourage Bing to do, and he even validates it later. It’s a natural consequence of his words and actions.) Given everything in the season, it looks like Vic would have been well on her way to escaping Haverhill like she wanted, without having ever tasted alcohol or weed first, if not for his effect on her life. It may not be a certainty, and of course none of that made her a bad person like he said, but he did definitely push her in that direction at an important turning point in her life. I haven’t gotten that far into the book, but I keep remembering the line “what Charlie Manx couldn’t do, she did to herself.” (Or something almost exactly that.) This holds true for the show, and it’s also so true of the man himself. We see that with him and Jolene too, with her desperately wanting to believe in him, him being unable to give her a reason to, and the way he doubled down on it by trying to kill her right after. We’ll see more of that in season two. There are immensely sympathetic reasons for him to be messed up and do the wrong thing , just as with Vic,* but we can also see how his opportunities to have the things he wanted become lost, as with her. I love how he and Vic are narrative foils in this story about both how suffering can inform you and limit your choices—taking into account that limits which “only” exist in your head are still very real—and how your choices are your own. It’s very satisfying to me. A good pair of foils is just…neat.

- Speaking of! Vic has so many foils. Her father, her mother, as a parent. Her own son as the victim Charlie does successfully (if temporarily) take away, where he failed with her. Maggie, as the girl who was hunting Charlie before Vic wanted to, and the girl who wants to try for a normal life just when Vic is newly determined and desperate to hunt him with her. Jolene, who got to meet him before he showed himself as who he chose to be and had to do the hunting on her own. Bing, who we meet as someone who shares her desire to escape his current life circumstances. And Millie. The other daddy’s girl. All throughout the season we watch Vic lose faith in her father, and I couldn’t help thinking, when the calls from Christmasland started, of how Millie would go through the same thing next season. They barely interact and they don’t have a relationship, but I am absolutely fascinated by the fact that Millie goes down a similar path, that her own connection to her mother got her calling on Vic for help and gave Vic help in return, and that she must be feeling some things about how her father let her walk into the world alone, but also what she did led to his death. Not wholly unlike how at the same time, Vic is still disillusioned with her own father and watches him be murdered before she can offer him forgiveness or the hope of reconciliation. That is a wonderful mess of feeling and potential narrative fodder.

- When I heard this wasn’t getting renewed, I tried to look on the bright side. At least it wouldn’t get awful, which it still had the potential to do, and it could remain a story I loved. But damn, I rarely vibe with a show the way I do with this one; not even with shows I love do I tend to feel as on the same wavelength as I felt with NOS4A2. So many other things have gotten renewed that are less good, that don’t try to do as much with their characters, or that I just plain don’t care about as much. Whether or not things would’ve gone badly in the end, this show deserved the chance to keep trying. It’s hard to explain, but as a whole it felt unique, unlike much of the television I’ve seen over the years. The show it reminds me the most of is Buffy; mainly in their protagonists, which is the thing I love best about both shows, but also the blend of the personal and the supernatural, the grounding of the supernatural in real life. (After making this observation on my own when watching the first time, I discovered that Vic’s original creator, Joe Hill, said he thought of her as a Buffy in a different time of her life. I love finding connections between my favorite stories, but finding that it was also a connection the writer was making, and the influence is there, was very pleasing.) But it’s very much its own thing. I would’ve loved to see more of it. In the unlikely event that someone has gotten this far and not seen it because it was cancelled, or left it unfinished for the same reason—I’ve seen a couple say that over the last six months or so—I’d encourage you to not let that be a factor! It’s very complete as it is, and rewarding in how it unites characters with themes. I could’ve done with so much more of it.

*I truly appreciate how sympathetic this show is with everyone. Everyone. Every major character is framed as someone to feel empathy for at one point or another, and this is true for most, if not all, of the minor characters too, if I remember this right. We’re asked to carry that empathy when we look at them, when we look at the story as a whole. This show is so stressful and yet so kind, so empathetic. In my opinion, it is so stressful in part because it’s kind and empathetic, because you feel so much for the people who are suffering. I could feel that, and that’s part of my love for it.